An Inner Connection

The blood-red sunset—swiped with lavender, fuchsia, and orange—signaled the approach of a pitch-black night. Melia waded across one of the Nyssalei’s sandbanks. The river was an in-between place, the waters unpredictable during the moons’ dark phase. She’d had to choose — risk the waters and reach the enchanted gardens under the safety of twilight, or end up running through the Footing Fields in total darkness.

When the vision overtook her, she stood with one foot on the Nyssalei’s bank and one foot in the water.

Warships approach. Their dark cannons smite the land with ear-shattering blows.

The banks of the Nyssalei wither.

Illialei is black and brown and grey.

I stand with one foot in the river. A luminous thing drifts to the water’s surface. Gold swirls frame it. I take a closer look. A mermaid. Drowned in the sewage of destruction.

“Melia,” someone calls.

I search for the speaker. He stands in the east — a male with dark hair, sunburnt skin, and emerald eyes.

He holds out his hand. It doesn’t reach me. A brown cloak billows behind him.

I want to move toward him, but my feet are rooted.

“I’ll stay with you,” he says. “No matter what.”'

The icy water pooling around her ankles brought Melia back to reality. She touched her forehead. Was the man with the emerald eyes the one Nandana had spoken of? How had he come to her so soon? — Chapter 4. Sisters, Half Faerie

What's going on here?

Whatever it is, it's happening in THE INVISIBLE REALM. But it is REAL?

What, after all, is REAL? Does everything that happens in the visible realm happen in THE INVISIBLE REALM first — as a thought, an idea, energy, a dream?

If everything that happens in THE INVISIBLE REALM doesn't seed the visible, what blossoms and withers? Are humans mistaken in believing we are the maximal determiners of what crosses the threshold between THE INVISIBLE and the visible, or are other forces at work? At play? Are they "smarter" than we are? More "intelligent"? "Wiser"? Must our — do our — thoughts, ideas, energies, dreams —  get "filtered" through such forces?

From Love, an Inner Connection by Carol K. Anthony: Immediately upon the beginning of a true love relationship, a dynamic connection is established between the two lover's innermost selves. This connection exists in the form of an energy that flows back and forth between them, binding them together. It is as if a large underground tunnel, through which blissful nourishment flows, connects them. They are able to feel this nourishment though they may be thousands of apart.

Is the "male with dark hair, sunburnt skin, and emerald eyes" merely a supernatural natural presence to comfort and/or guide Melia on her quest? Regardless, the half faerie experiences an inexplicably strong attraction to him after this, his first appearance in her life.

The Dark Night of the Soul by Loreena Mckennitt:

The Dark Night of the Soul Lyrics:

Upon a darkened night
The flame of love was burning in my breast
And by a lantern bright
I fled my house while all in quiet rest

Shrouded by the night
And by the secret stair I quickly fled
The veil concealed my eyes
While all within lay quiet as the dead

[Chorus:]
Oh night thou was my guide
Oh night more loving than the rising sun
Oh night that joined the lover
To the beloved one
Transforming each of them into the other

Upon that misty night
In secrecy, beyond such mortal sight
Without a guide or light
Than that which burned so deeply in my heart
That fire t'was led me on
And shone more bright than of the midday sun
To where he waited still
It was a place where no one else could come

[Chorus]

Within my pounding heart
Which kept itself entirely for him
He fell into his sleep
Beneath the cedars all my love I gave
From o'er the fortress walls
The wind would brush his hair against his brow
And with its smoothest hand
Caressed my every sense it would allow

[Chorus]

I lost myself to him
And laid my face upon my lover's breast
And care and grief grew dim
As in the morning's mist became the light
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair
There they dimmed amongst the lilies fair

As a half-faerie, Melia is an outcast in the enchanted world where she lives with her two sisters and full-blood faerie mother. The girls' father has been exiled to the mortal world for breaking his faerie troth. When a tragic accident destroys what's left of Melia's fractured family, her mother is unforgiving. The punishment she metes out will leave her daughter torn between guilt and ecstasy, challenge the bonds between three sisters, and complicate Melia's relationship with a young priest who’s come to the Realm of Faerie on a mission of his own.

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Nandana's Mark

The Illustrator pulled Melia into the next room where high oval tables, cluttered with ink jars and brushes, stood between several long, padded benches. Overfilled bookshelves lined two of the walls, and etchings covered a desk pushed into an alcove. More cats, perched about the room, turned their furred heads. An energetic ginger cat slid across the floor. 

Nandana guided Melia to an altar in the room’s far corner.

Before the half-faerie could stop her, the woman pressed her thumb into a saucer of ink, uttered something unintelligible, and pushed her thumb pad against Melia’s forehead.

The half-faerie tried to pull away. “What—?”

“He will help you.” Nandana maintained a firm grip on Melia’s hand as her glossy eyes stared into space. “Yes. I feel his presence in the Parallel of Shadows.” Her gaze gradually refocused on Melia. “Like you, he lives in a world where he doesn’t belong. And like you, he comprehends the horror that threatens and searches for answers.” She placed her hand over Melia’s heart. “This mark will call him to you.”

“I don’t understand.”

Nandana pulled Melia closer. “There are reasons you can see what your father calls forth but cannot bear to witness. Trust that.” The prediction did nothing to calm Melia, but it resonated with an inner knowing she could no longer deny. Her father’s obsession with Umbra had breached her inner world.

She had to stop him. — Excerpt from Chapter 3. The Illustrator, Half Faerie

Melia has an odd (even for the enchanted world!) experience with the Illustrator. The half faerie—who has carefully guarded her secret up to now — easily confesses her troubles to the unusual woman. Melia then gets unexpected advice: "don’t assume stopping your visions is the task before you" coupled with a strange mark on her forehead.

From Lost Knowledge of the Imagination by Gary Lachman: After much meditation Descartes decided that there were two fundamental kinds of reality, or in fact two realities, what he called res cogitates and res extends, 'thinking' or 'knowing' things, and 'extended' things. This was the knowing mind and what it knows, or, in our terms here, our inside and the outside, consciousness and the external world ... Descartes believed that the two realities did interact — they had to, as we experienced this in ourselves all the time — and he thought that this happened in a tiny organ in the brain called the pineal gland. This is located behind the third ventricle and strangely, this is also where in an ancient Hindu tradition the 'third eye' is found, the 'opening' of which triggers mystical vision."

Our inside and the outside, consciousness and the external world: THE INVISIBLE and the visible.

Melia's visit to the Illustrator is a turning point, not only is she encouraged to face her dark visions head on—"don't run away"—her connection with THE INVISIBLE is strengthened by a promise of forthcoming help.

Stand Up by Fireflight:

Stand Up Lyrics:

Look at all the lonely hearts
Shivering out in the dark
Hiding from the truth
Cover up the proof
Demons that I've tried to hide
Imprison me in my own lies
And all that I can do is cover up the proof
Don't be afraid to...

[Chorus:]
Stand up!
Stand up if you're broken
Stand up!
Stand up if you feel ashamed
You are not alone when you hurt this way
Stand up!
Stand up if you need love
Stand up!
This is not judgment day
You don't have to hide
There's no need to run
Everything will be okay

Secrets got me torn apart
Trying to destroy my heart
But I can see the light
It's cutting through the night
Don't run away
(Don't run away)
Don't be afraid to...

[Chorus]

You say You love me
That's all I'll ever need
If You say I'm good enough
That's good enough for me

[Chorus]

Stand up!
Stand up if you're broken
Stand up!
Stand up if you feel ashamed

As a half-faerie, Melia is an outcast in the enchanted world where she lives with her two sisters and full-blood faerie mother. The girls' father has been exiled to the mortal world for breaking his faerie troth. When a tragic accident destroys what's left of Melia's fractured family, her mother is unforgiving. The punishment she metes out will leave her daughter torn between guilt and ecstasy, challenge the bonds between three sisters, and complicate Melia's relationship with a young priest who’s come to the Realm of Faerie on a mission of his own.

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Have You Made Contact With the Strange World in Which We Live Today?

Melia settled back down into the grass. “Nothing about the doors between the mortal and enchanted worlds opening?”
“No.”
“Then I wonder what my father's thinking?”
“Do you want to hear the prophecy?”
“You can recite the whole thing?”
“Yes.”
Melia didn’t believe a dusty old poem offered a solution to her problem. “Maybe another day.”
“Fine.”
“I’m so tired of all this.” The half-faerie propped herself up on her elbows. “Maybe we could catch a ship at Southend and sail beyond Faerie, to a place where it doesn’t matter that I’m the wingless daughter of Pressina and Elynus.”

“Do you think that will stop your visions?”
“My mother wouldn’t even notice I was gone.”
Tatou frowned.
Melia rolled over and stared into the sky. “Maybe I’d be happier somewhere else. Maybe being happier would stop my visions.” — Excerpt from Chapter 2. The Prophecy, Half Faerie

Melia frequently travels between the visible and THE INVISIBLE realms. In the above excerpt, she uses her imagination to explore another possible solution to her "dark vision"/dark inner terrain problem. (She's already made several failed efforts.)

It seems like a minor detail, but what if it wasn't?

What is imagination, after all?

From Lost Knowledge of the Imagination by Gary Lachman : Imagination, [Colin Wilson] said, is the 'ability to grasp realities that are not immediately present'. Not an escape from reality, or a substitute for it, but a deeper engagement with it. We could also say that imagination is simply our ability to grasp reality, or even in some strange way, to create it, or at least collaborate in its creation ... While it can be used for fantasy, illusion, make-believe, and escapism, the real work of imagination is to make contact with the strange world in which we live and to serve as both guide and inspiration for our development within it. It is the way we evolve."

What if, every time Melia crosses the threshold into THE INVISIBLE realm she's planting a seed, a seed that will blossom in the future?

First Aid Kit's I'm Building Myself a Boat:

I'm Building Myself a Boat Lyrics

I'm building myself a boat
it's gonna sail across the globe
until I find what I want

I'm building myself a boat

I'm building myself a boat
it's gonna sail across these seas
until I find what I need
I'm building myself a boat

And you can surely come along
no, we won't be gone for too long
we'll be back by dawn

Well I might settle down
in your lonesome town
or I'd leave right away
I know here I can stay

And you can surely come along
no, we won't be gone for too long
We'll be back by dawn

I'm building myself a boat
it's gonna sail across the globe
until I find what I want
I'm building myself a boat

I'm building myself a boat
it's gonna sail across these seas
until I find what I need
I'm building myself a boat

As a half-faerie, Melia is an outcast in the enchanted world where she lives with her two sisters and full-blood faerie mother. The girls' father has been exiled to the mortal world for breaking his faerie troth. When a tragic accident destroys what's left of Melia's fractured family, her mother is unforgiving. The punishment she metes out will leave her daughter torn between guilt and ecstasy, challenge the bonds between three sisters, and complicate Melia's relationship with a young priest who’s come to the Realm of Faerie on a mission of his own.

Free eBook

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Buy the Paperback

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Whose Demons? Yours, Mine, Ours.

"I was thinking about my thirteenth birthday," Melia said. Her father had telepathically interrogated her that night. Since then, during every dark moon phase, gruesome images intruded on Melia's mind—gruesome images that she'd never seen or imagined before. It was all connected: her father's psychic trespass, the horrific visions, and the black nights when the enchanted world's two moons offered zero illumination. Tears welled in the half-faerie's eyes. She rubbed them away.

"What?" Tatou asked.

"When Melusine taught Plantine and me how to block Father's telepathic intrusions, I became the best at building interior walls. I was certain that would stop everything."

"But it didn't?"

"No." Melia's heart hammered in her chest. No matter how many psychic walls she threw up, or how thick the walls were, when Faerie's moons were dark the visions came. The most logical explanation made her uneasy. They weren't coming from outside of her, they were bubbling up from within.

"Try the ylandria one more time," Tatou said.

Melia slumped with her back bowing out, her elbows on her thighs, and her chin on the flats of her fists. They used to chase glow sprites on the shores of the Undine, but now they experimented with faerie herbs.

Maybe the ylandria wasn't working because she didn't want to know the truth. Her father's trespass had violated some inner boundary, one from which there was no retreat. It was a disturbing thought, to be forever transformed for the worse through no fault of her own, and at such an early age. — Excerpt from Chapter 1. Ylandria, Half Faerie

Melia's INNER WORLD, her psychic terrain, has been invaded in a troubling way. Who is responsible for said invasion, the sudden introduction of violent images that now recur according to a lunar rhythm?

From The Uses of Enchantment, On the Meaning and Significance of Fairy Tales by Bruno Bettelheim: "There is a widespread refusal to let children know that the source of much that goes wrong in life is due to our very own natures—the propensity of all men for acting aggressively, asocially, selfishly, our of anger and anxiety. Instead we want our children to believe that, inherently, all men are good. But children know that they are not always good, and often, even when they are, they would prefer not to be. This contradicts what they are told by their parents and therefore make the child a monster in his own eyes.

The dominant culture wishes to pretend, particularly where children are concerned, that the dark side of man does not exist, and professes a belief in optimistic meliorism." 

Not only do "CHILDREN know that they are not always good, and even when they are, they prefer not to be", children ALSO know the same about ADULTS!

As Melia's story opens she struggles with that universal question: Whose demons? Hers? Her Father's? Or ... someone else's? If they're not hers, how are they being/could they be transmitted into her mind? Through some INVISIBLE but potent connection, energy, field? Electromagnetic forces interacting with plasma?

The half faerie just wants to stop them and get on with her life. Meanwhile, if she could sprout a pair of wings and be like all the full-blood faeries!

Imagine Dragons cover of Demons by Gareth Bush & Morgan Kingdon:

Demon Lyrics:

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run stale

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

At the curtain's call
It's the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you made

Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truth

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

As a half-faerie, Melia is an outcast in the enchanted world where she lives with her two sisters and full-blood faerie mother. The girls' father has been exiled to the mortal world for breaking his faerie troth. When a tragic accident destroys what's left of Melia's fractured family, her mother is unforgiving. The punishment she metes out will leave her daughter torn between guilt and ecstasy, challenge the bonds between three sisters, and complicate Melia's relationship with a young priest who’s come to the Realm of Faerie on a mission of his own.

Free eBook

Amazon  |  Amazon (UK)  |  Amazon (Canada)  |  Apple  |  Barnes & Noble  |  Google play  |  kobo

Buy the Paperback

Amazon  |  Amazon (UK)